Some people are like a raw egg. They have a hard outer exterior, but once their shell is cracked or broken by a stranger, a workmate, a friend, a family member, or by a romantic partner, they start to fall apart.
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Some people are like a jelly. They are soft, squishy and easily devoured. They have no emotional barriers and they are easily manipulated and used by others.
Some people are like an onion. Onions thrive emotionally because they have emotional layers and they know who can be allowed access to each layer … when, and under what circumstances.
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Onions understand their layers and how much of their emotional selves they can reveal and share with others, without the risk of deep emotional hurt. This protects them, while allowing them to reveal and share their emotional layers in safety as they choose.
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The Onion Principle
Layer 1 is the outer layer with smooth protective skin. Outside this layer is the world at large including the people we meet, do business with, work with, and with whom we have social contact.
Layer 2 is the first inner layer. This is for friends, pals and others we know and like.
Layer 3 is the next inner layer. This is for close family members, and close friends we know and trust.
Layer 4 is for romantic, trusting friendship (boyfriend/girlfriend)
Layer 5 is for embarking on a loving long-term relationship
Layer 6 is for the children if the onion is a parent
Layer 7 is for a total partnership of love and commitment
Layer 8 is the innermost layer (the place where your "inner child" lives). It is your most personal, private inner emotional space.
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It is important to understand that an onion does not practice universal mistrust of others. That’s unhealthy. An onion is simply a discerning person who knows that emotional layers are precious, and should only be revealed and shared when empathy, trust and understanding have reached a point where it’s safe to go to the next layer with another person.
Opening up a deep emotional layer to another person prematurely, especially to a person who will not, or cannot respond in kind, is a sure step towards a failed relationship. A problem for some people is that they naively confuse romantic infatuation with real love. This makes them think they can safely share their emotional layer 5 or even their layer 7 when, in reality, they should be only at emotional layer 3 or 4. If they discover that the other person has abused a deep inner emotional layer they have revealed and shared with that other person, the result can be devastating.
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The happiest people I have met are the onions who understand themselves and the people around them. They manage their layers well, knowing which emotional layers are for acquaintances, friends, loved ones and their life partner.
Happy onions also know that taking responsibility for looking after their own inner emotional needs at layer 8 is the greatest gift they can give to themselves. Our inner layer needs our continuing care and attention if each of us is to thrive as an emotionally secure person.
Found this while looking for the "onions have layers, orgres have layers" quote from shrek. interesting article, and it's short and sweet too :) Succinct.
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tlp's biological alarm clock is consistently ringing at 12noon these days, when there are no programmes on. ahha it gets too hot to sleep in anyway. these few weeks have been super duper busy! but fun too!
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on boxing day, we made our post-phoned xmas dinner, stuffed chickens, potatoes, salad and pasta.
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next day: shopping trip to DFO, then tried chili cafe, which is quite alright. thai food.
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fri: Philip island trip! tt was fun... shall be blogged abt in another post. :)
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sat: visited docklands at night - heatwave in e day! e girls went to qn vic, smith street, and dfo in the day. super duper HOTTTTTT. oh gosh. no wonder hell is always portrayed as an inferno.
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sun: combined service, m was actually supposed to hold a bday party, but it got cancelled cos of her health, so we went to max brenner instead (w some ppl from caleb 1 & 2), then to borders, then to chom chom. locoroco is a freaking cute game! ahhha i want a psp for my bday!
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mon (new years eve): went to docklands to watch e fireworks :)
then danny was supposed to send us home, and we took nearly 1.5hours to get back!
we got LOST! went by some wierd route, and ended up at JTan's place at like 2am.
was more or less able to recognise the way back from there, thankfully.
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pics shall be updated later! :)
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man, it is really freaking HOTTTT! i'm just glad it's not humid too.
air con air con air con!
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