Dearest blog,
another month has flew past.. it's already nearing the end of clinicals. 3 days to go.. just as well.. i am freaking tired and emotionally drained.. oh how i wish i could just sit down and knit forever and ever. theraupeutic stuff.. and i keep getting mysterious cuts out of nowhere on my hands.. which hurt like hell due to the unexpectedness when i have to use e alcohol sanitisers between seeing patients. one of e pts said talking to me is like talking to a 2 yr old.. now is tt a compliment or an insult eh?
sigh.. more killings and outbreaks and what new nonsense going on.. how much more shit can this earth actually take?
everybody's sick these days... my granny has an eye infection and my daddy's going for a cochlear implant in april. which is next month. gosh. it's a moderately major op, and his hearing is going to be forever changed.. apparently ppl with the implants hear in beeps and toots etc, which is nowhere near actual hearing.. but at least he'll be able to hear again. i hoep the op goes well.. and please please please may his hearing return again.. sigh. and e op is gg to cost 40k.. i think.. plus 2 years of rehabilitation.. meaning he has to relearn language again, translating the beeps into recognisable words. oh gosh gosh gosh.
and for some unknown reason, HE keeps popping into my head at the most unexpected moments recently..y y y? there's this particular line he once said that especially haunts me.. i have this feeling that if i dont ask her now i'll regret it for the rest of my life... is she really going to be "the rest of his life"? i really really really wish i'd stopped going back to kuo chuan to visit back then.. then nothing would even have started. no class outings, no sitting around bishan park, no waiting for e bus, no smsing, no insisting that he came down to bishan all the way from woodlands?, no sitting around the bubble tea shop, no making plans for the fair, nobody backing out of plans, no photocopying of notes, nothing nothing nothing..
it is wierd how much i wish and hope and believe that time can somehow turn back, like rewatching a drama serial on vcd. but then reality will just suddenly set in and we're back in Now again. well.. and i wonder how winston is now.. the close friends of those days.. where have they all disappeared to now? how do friendships just melt away with time and distance?
sometimes i also wonder if he has anything to do with JLTS. it's like the way they talk and sms seem so similar sometimes. anyway i'm glad JL has finally decided to save the $$ spent on his handphone bill and stop bugging me.. i am evil... evil and sentimental and irritable. what kind of wierd combi is that?
right.. i'm just in one of those down-and-out moments we all experience now and then.. sigh sigh sigh..
nobody loves me everybody hates me i'm gonna eat some worms. big fat slimy worms, small thin ?? worm. itsy bitsy yucky little worms.. i hope i got e last one and a half lines right.. partially forgotten liao..
and i miss e first 3 mths in NYjC.. and e orientation night.. and e "dancing".. and even the silly dance we had during the cca camp thing! aha e good ol days... =)
Love, e ever loving doggy-mummy of e princess AnGeL!
another month has flew past.. it's already nearing the end of clinicals. 3 days to go.. just as well.. i am freaking tired and emotionally drained.. oh how i wish i could just sit down and knit forever and ever. theraupeutic stuff.. and i keep getting mysterious cuts out of nowhere on my hands.. which hurt like hell due to the unexpectedness when i have to use e alcohol sanitisers between seeing patients. one of e pts said talking to me is like talking to a 2 yr old.. now is tt a compliment or an insult eh?
sigh.. more killings and outbreaks and what new nonsense going on.. how much more shit can this earth actually take?
everybody's sick these days... my granny has an eye infection and my daddy's going for a cochlear implant in april. which is next month. gosh. it's a moderately major op, and his hearing is going to be forever changed.. apparently ppl with the implants hear in beeps and toots etc, which is nowhere near actual hearing.. but at least he'll be able to hear again. i hoep the op goes well.. and please please please may his hearing return again.. sigh. and e op is gg to cost 40k.. i think.. plus 2 years of rehabilitation.. meaning he has to relearn language again, translating the beeps into recognisable words. oh gosh gosh gosh.
and for some unknown reason, HE keeps popping into my head at the most unexpected moments recently..y y y? there's this particular line he once said that especially haunts me.. i have this feeling that if i dont ask her now i'll regret it for the rest of my life... is she really going to be "the rest of his life"? i really really really wish i'd stopped going back to kuo chuan to visit back then.. then nothing would even have started. no class outings, no sitting around bishan park, no waiting for e bus, no smsing, no insisting that he came down to bishan all the way from woodlands?, no sitting around the bubble tea shop, no making plans for the fair, nobody backing out of plans, no photocopying of notes, nothing nothing nothing..
it is wierd how much i wish and hope and believe that time can somehow turn back, like rewatching a drama serial on vcd. but then reality will just suddenly set in and we're back in Now again. well.. and i wonder how winston is now.. the close friends of those days.. where have they all disappeared to now? how do friendships just melt away with time and distance?
sometimes i also wonder if he has anything to do with JLTS. it's like the way they talk and sms seem so similar sometimes. anyway i'm glad JL has finally decided to save the $$ spent on his handphone bill and stop bugging me.. i am evil... evil and sentimental and irritable. what kind of wierd combi is that?
right.. i'm just in one of those down-and-out moments we all experience now and then.. sigh sigh sigh..
nobody loves me everybody hates me i'm gonna eat some worms. big fat slimy worms, small thin ?? worm. itsy bitsy yucky little worms.. i hope i got e last one and a half lines right.. partially forgotten liao..
and i miss e first 3 mths in NYjC.. and e orientation night.. and e "dancing".. and even the silly dance we had during the cca camp thing! aha e good ol days... =)
Love, e ever loving doggy-mummy of e princess AnGeL!
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