tlp need peace

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change;

courage to change the things I can;

and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;

Enjoying one moment at a time;

Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;

Taking, as He did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it;

Trusting that He will make all things right if I surrender to His Will;

That I may be reasonably happy in this life

and supremely happy with Him

Forever in the next.

Amen.

sometimes i feel that having a communal group of friends is not easy.
too many insercurities make me feel that sometimes people know things which i dont, and they dont dare to share e truth, for their own reasons? sigh..

(they still are wonderful people though)

i feel so inadequate sometimes, it's like i'm unable to totally give up things which i get too attached to, and it's hard surrending everything all the time... to just have faith that he will show us our purpose, and that if things were not meant to be, to know how to let go, and to trust in His goodness and grace, that all he wants is to prosper us.

i really do want to trust you Lord, with all my heart and soul and mind and spirit and strength.

peace. faith. self control.

on a lighter note, thank you surrogate daddy pham for e watermelon and notes and sermon you so kindly delivered! we're really blessed to have such a wonderful leader who really goes all out to help... :)

introducing..... my wonderful brothers and sisters

yepy yeps... here they are! this is the darebin group, who will soon be leaving the main church (sobs) to pioneer a new church! yea.

and a photo taken at docklands, with mr Logan Kai Pham, our caregroup leader, who has been very inspirational and welcoming and nice etc etc.. ahha thus deserving e special mention yea.... =) hehe e other pretties are mingxiu and suety, my housemates and classmates and everythingmates!

oh gosh... tlp is FAT!

tlp in melbourne

things tlp likes about her life in melbourne:

that (most) people actually bother to say thank you to the bus drivers when they board or alight from e bus, and nobody thinks they're mad.. some even shout their thanks from e back of the bus! do that in sg and e driver will prob be stunned for the next 3 seconds =) hehe tlp has been saying thanks too! should bring this habit back to sg.. =) it makes the world a happier place yea.

that there are flocks of wild cockatoos flying ard school! really really cute!

that it's where i finally found God again

that it makes me feel right at home and not like i'm an alien in a foreign land

that our lectures are all over the school and not confined to just one block

that the 2 dogs in the house at our busstop have finally decided to stop barking at us and to make friends instead

that the bus ride to school is only 5 mins

that my housemates are people i know and love, and that we (mostly) get along well with each other

the weather

that there is a little letter box at the front gate of our house. i happen to find it awfullly cute for some unknown reason

that even the weeds flower and look so pretty

that the skies are usually blue and serene

that i can really see the entire sky of twinkling stars at night

that it's taught me to appreciate more of the simple joys in life

that its forced me to learn to cook

however, the telephone charges here are ridiculously expensive (it's aud$0.15 for ONE local sms!!!! roarrrr), and i miss my family and friends and my everdearest precious little doggykins.

Here I am to worship

really nice song

rebirth

I really wanna thank God for His divine plan, for bringing me all the way here to Melbourne, and for showing me the path to His light once again, for not giving up on me despite all my sins. It really is divine how everything has worked out, and i never would have thought that i would find so much peace in Him, least of all after coming all the way here..

I guess all my life I've never really committed my self into His hands, even though i was receptive to his word, and i didnt really have great faith in the miracles, and that a person could be so changed through him. i guess the reason for this change is also partly cos i get to start anew in a new place, on a clean slate, and that has helped immensely.

Although my walk has only just begun, He has blessed me in so many areas already, from the locating of a house to settling in nicely, and for such wonderful churchmates and care group members. I really really appreciate this bunch of people, some of whom really go all out to get to know us, to make us comfortable, and to help us settle in nicely, and for the extremely fresh and innocent feeling of brother and sister-hood with each other. it has been a really long time since i last felt so accepted by total strangers, and it's definately not on a very superficial level.

It has also been a great blessing that the churches here are going throught the 40 days of purpose program, and today is day 8! and it's like even though there's 32 more days, i can already feel that life is more focused on Him, and that i am finally able to leave alot of my negative thoughts and worries behind. In a way, this has helped me to set my course straight right from the start, so that i can believing and living purposefully from the start.

today is also a very special day, cos i had my holy spirit baptism today.. it really touched me to see so many people praying for me, including pastor Mark, and these are people who have only known me for a month, yet it feels like the fellowship we have is so sure, so real, so true. The gift of tongues was not given to me then though, and i felt quite stressed, and slightly guilty, like i was letting them all down, by not having enough faith. Yet they were very nice, and they each shared their experiences, and encouraged me to cont praying for this gift.

we had a nice sharing over dinner @ Docklands, then were sent back home. so upon reaching home, i started praying for the gift once again, yet i was still feeling quite skeptical, and unsure of myself. the Lord still didnt grant me my prayer, and there was a feeling of unpreparedness which came over me. i was directed to the bible, reading about the confession and forgivness of our sins, and of God's absolute love for us. so i tried to surrender everything to him, and buried feelings were dug up, feelings which i thought never existed, and which i hated myself then for not feeling. the tears just flowed and flowed, and i spent about an hour in prayer, confessing and meditating, tears just streaming down.it wasnt about lyz anymore, it was about something much greater and much worse, something which amounts to murder, and i really hated myself for being so nonchalent about it then. after calming down and reading the Word again i felt that this time i was finally ready, and really really concentrated on praying, and it was really really through faith that i was given this gift, together with a new bout of crying, which just came and went on for quite some time.

i guess this is God's way of cleansing my heart and my soul, and He was waiting for me to really prepare myself to accept His unconditional love, and i really wanna thank Him for this breakthrough, and that from now on i may grow to be a better person, one who will bring Him great pleasure.

and if you have ploughed through this entry from begining to end i really wanna thank you for taking the time and effort to do so. *hugx!*

released at last

guess what? i have finally shed my last tears for you. finally after all this time, i have really really learnt to let go, and to close this chapter in my life. I was finally able to share our story without any tears or pain, and without anger. With this first proper and final sharing, i guess i am finally relieved of this load. Thank you Lord for helping me through all this while, for making me come to my senses and accepting what has happened, for making me realise that i have grown stronger from this, and for my wonderful friends who stuck through with me til the end. And for allowing me to feel that i can once again meet his eyes without hurt or anger.

i eagerly await what you have planned for me in life, and i trust my life to Your hands.

4th week in Melbourne

Yeah, so i'm FINALLY updating this blog.. =)

as you can tell from the title, i'm in my 4th week in melbourne. it's really nice here, though it really gets boring after 5pm, cos it gets really really dark and the shops are all closed, plus i live in the suburbs, so there's totally nothing to do at all!

yep yep.. just washed clothes and vaccummed my room.. hehe i'm living in a nice little house with 3 other friends, who were my classmates in nyp too..

this is my messy bedroom!

and it feels like i've lived here all my life, i just feel so at home here =) hopefully i'll be able to work here after graduating, though that means making plans kinda soon..

there are so many things i want to say, i just dont know where to start. the school itself is really cosy, though kinda old. it's like those old english universities. the environment is really nice though. =)

and so far, we HAVENT made any new friends in school! now how sad is that?? sigh.. maybe it's cos there's 13 singaporeans already and we are like in our own small contingency all the time. hehe oh well..

do have some really nice new friends from church though.. HOPE melbourne =) yea... tlp is finally going to church! yipee! and going through the 40 days of purpose thing.. yep yep hopefully tlp will be a better person from now on! =) my dear friends cum housemates have been really encouraging and helpful in this area, and i really wanna thank them for that.

and here's the 9 of us - 4 in one house and 5 in another.. all from the same cohort in nyp!

i spent my entire last night dreaming about singapore! it was like i flew back in the morning, and had to fly back to melbourne in the evening, so the day was spent in a rush getting neccessities and cuddling Angel.. i really do miss my little dog.. and thankfully there's skype and webcams to make communication cheaper and easier and more personal =) been talking to parents nearly every night or so, which is good.

and i also wanna thank my wonderful SN friends, cos their funny email conversations nv fail to make me smile! it feels like they're right there with me.. =) yea.. really miss crapping with you girls in person!

so what have i been doing? well:

• going to school
• went clubbing once (and it's really similar to sg, just more kissing and touching)
• shopping (though it's not cheap, except for made in china winter clothes)
• healesville wildlife sanctuary
• exploring surrounding suburbs and little shopping centres and markets
• going to church and caregroups and spending time with other church members
• cooking nearly every night
• trying to be a better person :)
  

much love,

TLP!

p.s. i spent like more than half an hour on this post trying to get the pictures up! roarrrrr... the internet connection here is damn slow even though it's supposed to be fast! grrrrr