everyday is [literally] a new adventure!

first: a photo of e ceiling of crown's atrium.. e lights are so pretty! =) merry christmas! e 8 of us spent christmas having a picnic lunch @ brighton beach, and planned to get back by 5 or 6 to start cooking our humongous christmas dinner. sounds pretty unadventurous eh? well it really should have been.

except that the state of victioria provides free public transport on christmas day. which would have been a good thing, if they did not also screw up all e bus, train and tram timings, routes, and frequencies! *roarrrr~* we managed to get there witout a problem, besides a change of bus, cos 250 was starting its journey from e middle of its normal route. getting home was another story altogether.

when we reached, it was FREEZING cold! 7 of us were like "lets go home now!" (well even before we reached it was already cold, but e seabreezes are awfully terribly bbbrrrr) lunch went well, and hongrui bravely went into e water! that girl is really cold-resistant. suet, mx, tlp and papa fell asleep on e towels, and mx got baked black in that short ten mins. there were really obvious lines on her arms, and e girls forced her to bake for another 10 mins to try and even out e tan.

1 sydnian, 3 melbies, and 4 perthians:

seagulls enjoying the seabreeze - they're just hovering/gliding with their wings spread, like little kites:
everyone's busy taking photos:

is tlp stronger than 2 houses?

the houses are so bright and cheery:

ok so tlp is not stronger than 2 houses - she is stronger than a painted kangaroo though!
so anyway, after lunch we took many many many pics! and continued walking down down down, looking for a tram/bus/something to get us back to e city. well we walked for about 45mins all e way down to north brighton, took e train back to e city, 2 hours past schedule. when we got back to e city, we spent another 20mins waiting for e bus, only to discover that there was NO bus! goshhhh...

off topic: there was a super cute pretty boy cocker/cavaliar cross @ e bus stop! had fun petting e dog, who had a little present hanging from his collar =) his owner was pretty friendly too, and this other passerby was like: dogs always help to attract girls, and that mr dog-owner was doing quite well (there were 3 of us fussing over e dog). mr dog-owner was so obviously in love with and affectionate towards his dog, and mr half-cocker really behaves like angel - climbing onto his owner's lap and sitting there like a happy grown-up huge puppy and demanding kisses.
i'm coming back soon my dear angel-dog!

ok so back to e topic. we decided to take e tram instead, only to see a dash in e column announing e arrival of e next tram, and thought tt e darn tram was cancelled too. waited awhile, then saw that it was still in service after all, then decided to have dinner in e city - we were all too tired, and it was too late to cook anyway. ate at chinatown, took e tram back, and had to walk all e way back in e cold, in e (nearly) middle of e night from e tramstop outside macs @ latrobe, which took us another 45ish mins. wanted to call for cabs, but couldnt get through.

what a sight we must have been - 8 girls trudging along in one file along e road. managed to make it back safely and happily, and konked out til 11 today, like a zhu. oh well, adventures are tiring!

hehe and more pics from williamstown:

papa and tlp @ e train station, finally in shelter after being buffeted by e wind for 20 mins. look @ e state of our hair! tlp's hair clip got blown off in e end, despite its determination to hang on for dear life for 15 mins. retraced the route and managed to find it though=)

5mins later, on e train, after tiding up. our hair was suddenly much softer. must be e sea minerals and what nots.. mother nature's spa treatment.. good stuff!
and my $1.50 icecream and a christmas tree once again!

hehe and some zi lian photos, been nagged at by papa for e necklines.. whoops~

@ flinders, with e (are they supposed to be famous?) clocks: outside T2 @ chadstone... the wallpaper is so pretty!
@ crown:
outside crown - e yarra river and mel city's skyline
and in crown again

and that's it!

touristy adventures!

invading santa's throne!
let's play e spotting game: can you spot e seagull?
spotting game 2: spot my pretty boy!
spotting game 3: spot a pretty rudolph?
ahha poor papa sil... came to melbourne in summer, but e weather has been terrible! i'm sure she'll bring back plenty of memories from her adventures here boy!

her first day here was fine, nice and sunny. we went ard e city, and she had fun exploring e city herself while suet, steph and tlp went to max brenner for drinks (hehe horrible hosts - but she had fun!) then we went to lygon for dinner, and got lost (yes, once again).


steph and tlp - after dinner photo on e walk back to e city

day 2 of papa's visit, she went to e gardens alone, suet had church stuff, tlp went to meet dear joycelyn, and steph rested at home. still relatively uneventful..

present from dear joyce: peach schnapps (sp?) and buttermilk chocolate from hunter's valley and a dear postcard

day 3: papa went for caregrp with suet and mx @ maggie's house, then they went to see e lights @ ivanhoe. tlp went to e city w steph - took photos w santa, saw e choir @ crown again, and wanted to watch e christmas carolling @ st pauls, but were late, and it wasnt a free event anyway *sniffle*. so we took more photos, then went home.

day 4: adventure started! e 5 of us went to chadstone, and it was drizzling slightly when we left. weather forcast predicted thunderstorms.. when we got to chadstone it wasnt raining, but sky was pretty grey. pearline and her friend were supposed to meet us, and meet us they did, but they were drenched to e bone. (we could hear e rain from inside e shopping centre, and it sounded damn bad) e 2 of them had to get clothes and slippers, and mx had to buy them some towels for drying them up w. she wasnt allowed into safeway though, cos it was flooded. and then e train lines were disrupted quite badly due to a fallen tree and flooded tunnels @ e train station. people were really starting to get quite upset, and e poor connex staff looked super stressed. it took us 1.5 hours to travel 7 stops, super long waiting times, changes in plans, trains and platforms, and many starts-and-stops. very sleepyfying...

christmas tree! e 5 of us
at e end of e day - when waiting for buses turns one a little kookooday 5: e adventure continues... were supposed to go to docklands for some craft market thingy, but it was POURING like crazy, and e 4 of us had to share 2 umbrellas. met a nice tram driver, who insisted that we board e train to e next stop, where there would be a shelter. there were plenty of wierdos that day though... first these 4 guys were trying to wave us up to their apartment when we were at docklands, trying to look for e craft mkt or an information centre, then we met this drunk who wanted to wish us merry christmas, and tlp decided that it would be safer to entertain him and shake his hand than to refuse so he shook all our hands, then got nagged at by a (also drunk looking) friend who managed to catch up with him. then some nut wanted to share our umbrella in e middle of e bridge, and finally some guy asked us if we had drugs while we were waiting for e bus @ flinders. but still, there were all rather harmless. anyway, we didnt manage to find e craft mkt, had to squish under 2 umbrellas, poor papa's shoes were terrible wet and squishy, and tlp has a knack for stepping into unseen puddles, and we weren't sure if the weather would clear so that we could see e fireballs @ crown. - but it did and we did =)
pic on e bridge with a happy group of strangers

while waiting for e balls of fire @ crown. e 3 of us are smiling like manics cos while we were trying to take this pic of ourselves, a guy was standing in front of e camera making funny faces. he then offered to help us take a photo =)
day 6: went to williamstown w papa. weather forcast said 70% chance of rain, and e 2 of us werent sure if we should proceed w e plan. were supposed to carry on with e plan if it didnt rain by lunch time, but as we were staring into e sky, it started to rain, but cleared after a while. bus was supposed to come at 1.37, but at 1.20 we were still undecided, cos clouds did not look too friendly. tossed a coin. coin said go. to be safe, papa tossed it again. and it said go again. so we went. mistake num 1: not wearing enough layers. it was c c colddddd! reached williamstown - was happily raining, so we had tea at one of e cafes there. then rain slowed to a drizzle, then finally stopped. we thought we'd won our 30%chance of no rain, and were happily taking pics @ e pier when it decided to POUR again.

luckily there was this glass house shelter thingy there, so we hid there, with e umbrellas ard our legs, looking like 2 toots =) after awhile rain cleared again, and we decided to walk to e timeball tower. mistake num 2: not getting super strong umbrellas - e typhoon kind. e wind was blowing super duper extremely stongly, that e raindrops were hitting so hard, they were like mini hailstones - i kid u not. we had to struggle to walk against e wind, and e poor seagulls were either walking sideways or flying backwards.

out of pure determination to do our toursity stuff, we pressed on. e umbrellas were totally useless in e wind, and i had to use e closed umbrella to shield face from e painful rain. evil people did not stop to offer us a ride, and papa said one car was laughing at usl.. sobs.. ahha but then. we were laughing v hard at ourselves and e seagulls too.. wind was so strong that e umbrella and my coat were totally dry by e time we'd walked to e train station.

then we went to yarraville to walk ard, had some adventures w e train timing, running to and from e bustop to e train station, and looking like 2 rabbits at attention trying to figure out which direction e train was coming from, and running for e train like 2 maniacs, laughing all e while. met e other 3 for dinner @ footscray, when it decided to rain like mad again. it was so cold that we were breathing out steam once again - just like in winter! then back to city, someone decided that we were perfectly fun to bully, and could not resist one last disruption. our bus got stuck for a happy 30mins cos of a tourist bus which had got stuck in e middle of a u turn, and was happily blocking off the entire street.

tlp's dinner: grilled chicken noodle soup
tlp's tea: tomyam soup disguised as tomato and basil soup
5 sgreans

day 7: the 4 perthians arrived, and papa went to st kildas with them. we had a combined service w e main church, then had coffee at lygon w half of caleb 1. =)

went door-to-door carolling today, had dinner in e city with snr dr, logan, simon, ying and 2 of e perthians. it was a nice new experience, and those who welcomed us REALLY welcomed us. could see true appreciation in their faces, and though we experienced a fair share of rejection, the reactions of those who opened their doors and their hearts was really warming. one lady's father had just passed away this morning. and apparently it's the first time anyone's ever done any carolling in this neighbourhood in more than 30 years.

we'll be gg to e beach for a picnic lunch tmr *mmmmm*

busy busy busy

dearest blog,

Merry Christmas!

e entire last 2 weeks have been super busy.. went shopping nearly everyday e week before, then papa sil arrived in sydney on mon, and met joycelyn on tues, went out w steph quite a bit before she flew back today, been doing touristy stuff w papa (of which many turned into mini adventures!), and had christmas parties @ darebin & @ e main church, and we went carolling today. =)

so... pictures!
here's our side of e table @ e christmas dinner party, with anthony, danny, lorena and hana opposite. we had visitors from e various other caregrps from e city centre too, and games and dancing (everyone should get to watch anthony dancing.. hehehe)
and tlp and e little christmas tree - tlp has been collecting photos of christmas trees.. and only steph is entertaining tlp..

and e 4 heidelberg sg girls finally have a proper pic tog. we're squatting, cos we needed e table for e camera timer, and e table is at a normal table height, and we do not want pics of 4 tummies and nothing but tummies. ooh ghost on top of steph's head! and this poor dog/pig like thingy has been bullied by tlp for 3 consequtive days! hehe was w steph, then w joycelyn, then w steph again, and e both of thme refuse to have their photos taken with e poor creature.. ahha oh well... if nobody loves you, little doggy-that-looks-like-a-pig, then tlp will! =)

doggy 1:

doggy 2:
doggy 3:
and here's my dear darling joycelyn! who only ate hungry jacks for e first time in this half a year since she got to australia when i dragged her there.. then dragged her all around e city.. we went to queen vic mkt, where she got fresh and dried mangoes, and got psychoed by e vendors into getting 200g of cherries (when she actually had no intention of getting any), then we went to docklands, walked around e flinders area, took photos on santa's throne, got sadly disappointed by santa-in-real-life exiting from his changing tent, lit a candle @ st paul's cathedral, walked ard e south bank area, and then watched e crown choir. there's a super pretty boy in e choir! even papa agreed.. hehe will upload e pics of e choir and u can judge for urself. =)

and lastly, e 3 fat chickies! look at v in mid-run. super chickily cute yea

chickens!

these 3 little balls of fluff: have turned into... these!
obviously, Vea's e one in e centre, and still my manja little favourite. Friday's the hugest, on the left, and little Starburst's on e right.

Hand feeding chickens is fun! took some time for them to figure out that they were supposed to peck LIGHTLY at the food instead of trying to eat my fingers though. and Vea used to peck with all her(?) might. they've learnt to eat normally though. which is good. =)

e cage, donated by our lovely landlords, used to house pigeons i think. and it's kinda rusty, but it's big, and e chickens seem happy in it. they get branches to perch on (that's Starburst up on the stick above e other 2). it's really cute to see e 3 of them roosting comfortably on the branch, sleeping. they also get a grass strewn floor, where they get to scratch at their food all they like.

wierdly, these 3 chickens dont seem to like going onto actual grass. maybe it's e open space, and they're afraid of the other birds? hmm.. they do get a lot of visits from the neighbourhood birds though.. they visitors are more than happy to eat the stray seeds the 3 naughty ones kick out.

and, the chickens are suprisingly soft! nice to stroke, but will prob have to tame them first if it's possible.. project chicken taming in process..

things to be thankful for

-that i'll soon be back among family, friends, and a lickity wet tongue again-
-that lickity wet tongues heal wounds faster and more effectively than time does-
-that this time no major exams were involved-
-that no major life decisions were made and finalised yet-
-that he did not play you out, that it could have been worse if he'd decided to just toy with feelings, even though the way things are being handled now is not too 'ideal' (for lack of a better word)-
-that you can still look at him straight in the eye without remorse or guilt-
-that there are still people willing to entertain your nonsense and endless whining and mood swings-
-that there are people outside of your tiny immediate social circle who are willing to spend time with you-
-that you have 2 housemates who bother to insist on making you eat, and willingly cook for you-
-that your dear friends are rallying their support for you, even though they are so so so far away-

-that you have your first song dedication on a dear friend's blog-
-that there are people praying for you-
-that your chickens are happy and healthy and soft and feathery and now have a nice big cage and proper chicken food-
-that your landlords are really really really really really good people-
-that you're healthy, and so are the people you love-
-that despite everything, you know you wont be afraid to love again-
-that one day, you'll be able to look back and smile-

so, so what even if he's totally indifferent to you? so what if you don't understand his behaviour? so what if he's happily leading his life like nothing happened? so what if he's happily oblivious to your hurt? so what if you think he has no right to be acting like that? so what if he's not answering your questions? so what if he's decided to run run run away and have nothing to do with you? what he does, how he handles things is none of your concern anymore. all you can do is to pray for his life, his happiness, his growth as a person. and for you to learn the lessons you were meant to learn, and move on too.

But there is no point in wondering and worrying, cursing shooting stars which ignored your wish, or trying to interpret signs which you werent able to understand even then (while in bendigo, was feeling quite down, so went for a walk down the dusty country lane praying and looking at rabbits and birds. while walking back towards the house, i prayed a ridiculous prayer - that i would see him out of the house, though he was supposed to be sleeping. wanted to know if he would actually bother to come out to look for me. anyway after the prayer, i looked up, and really did see him. he was locking up the gates, however, and didnt see me.) have been wondering, pondering, trying to understand if He really anwers prayers so literally, or if it was just a co-incidence, or if there's a deeper meaning. interpretation can go both ways too.

anyway, the point is, there is no point thinking so much unless you can somehow turn time back, and you can't, so stop thinking.

i like it when it rains, and i like it when it's sunny, but i really do not like the it-seems-like-it's-going-to-rain-any-minute-now-but-where's-the-rain kind of weather. and that's what got me into this mess i suppose. my need for a clearly defined situation, to know exactly what he was thinking, turning to drinking to try and stop myself thinking, ended up with me forcing him to make a decision in a drink-induced depressed state. but still, it was inevitable i guess (the irrational part of me wonders though). and as said before, it's meaningless to keep replaying such stuff anyway.

.

what didnt work out just didnt work out, through no fault of yours or his. i guess we just met at the wrong time, in the wrong place. you've encountered worse experiences, and survived. be strong, and in times of weaknesses, remember all you have to be thankful for!

and to end off, a song dedication to my dear friends of 10 years

(pls ignore the dodgy oldish-looking scenes in e video.. it's e words that make e song ya..

oldies are goodies though =p)

分享: 伍思凯

时间已做了选择

什么人叫做朋友

偶而碰头

心情却能一点就通

因为我们曾有过理想类似的生活

太多感受 绝非三言两语能形容

可能有时我们顾虑太多

太多决定需要我们去选择

担心会犯错 难免会受挫

幸好一路上有你陪我

与你分享的快乐

胜过独自拥有

至今我仍深深感动

好友如同一扇窗能让视野不同

与你分享的快乐

胜过独自拥有

至今我仍深深感动

好友如同一扇门让世界(变)开阔

super long post ahead!

went to the suzuki night market with steph & jace last night.. it's full of ethnic stuff at ridiculous prices! these people should visit chinatown in sg, or the angpow river during CNY. think they'll be super entertained there.

and i suspect the food section would have smelt alot better if i wasnt so full after dinner too.. hehe. some of the food looked quite good though. mmmmm~

the lights in the background are really pretty in real life, and super expensive! $69 for one set of coloured *plastic?* shapes which you interlock to form a ball. really really pretty!

couldnt catch the colors of the casing thingy (aka the balls) though.

the camera doesnt seem to take photos very well in dim lighting.

after that, we walked to QV, and took photos of and with the lone lonely christmas tree sitting all by itself in the middle of the square.
when you have nothing to do, take plenty of photos!
so, steph and me:
steph & jace:
and jace & me (pls ignore that wierd facial expression):
and then, we walked on to federation square, and took more photos!

fed square is full of orbs. ghosts! whooooooo~

hugging:

and more hugging:

and more pics
and the blue stick-tower thingy that steph is obsessed with for some unknown reason.
look! another ghost!
and the yarra river area. this stretch reminds me of clarke quay. =)

~end of happy part of post~

________________________________________________________

tlp tlp tlp, you need to stop kidding yourself.

met him for lunch yesterday, wanted to clarify a few things, but couldnt bring up the questions once again. and anyway i got my answers indirectly i guess, just that my damned self refuses to believe the freaking obvious. he never asked about how i was doing, nor did he display any interest in wanting to know, and he was avoiding eye contact as much as possible. lunch consisted of mainly cordial, polite conversation, revolving mainly around the chickens. guess he was really pretty awkward. tlp, it's time to let go, girl. Seriously, stop kidding yourself.

was reading my diary, and the previous entries all revolved ard him. why do i always do that? tlp.... you need to learn girl, learn! wake up now!

you know, when people say "it's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all", i never know what's my stand on that. at the start of each r/s, i fully believe it's true, that you have to go through each experience because you'll never know if you never try. yet when things end, all the hurt and pain really makes me wish i'd never opened myself to such hurt in the first place. but yet, if we were able to turn time back, i'm sure i'd still choose to walk the same path. so am i stupid, stubborn, or just plain crazy?

woke up this morning and prayed, and made the decision to surrender everything to God, all the broken dreams, expectations and plans. it's like in these downcast times, the hymns we used to sing in pri and sec school really do come back and offer comfort.

"Take all that daily toil, plants in our hearts poor soil, take all we start and spoil, each hopeful dream, the chances we have missed, the graces we resist, Lord in your Eucharist, take and redeem". - one of the songs we used to sing at communion.

the lyrics have always stirred something in me, and well, today, it just made the tears flow. it's a decision i've been seriously struggling with, to release the anchor holding me down, preventing me from moving on, to stop playing this tug of war with Him, to really ask Him to untie the knots in this pathetic heart of mine. EVERYDAY, it becomes a new struggle, EVERYDAY i have to remake the decision not cling on to hope that is not there, to turn back again. He has given me plenty of strength and help in this period, but i've been fighting it, hoping against hope, that things will change. Well, things are pretty clear now, and i hope He gives me the strength and resolve to be steadfast in this decision.

talking about turning back again brings up another area i'm struggling with. gosh. is tlp totally problematic or what? all i want to do is to curl up in bed and sleep each day away. or to spend the day with people i'm really really close to, but THEY"RE NOT HERE. and being with steph and jace is comforting, but it also causes this pang in me. dont get me wrong though, i sincerely, really and truly wish them all the best, and am glad that they're able to be there for each other. Am finding it really hard to open up to others outside of this little circle, and am totally unmotivated to do so either.

went for another session at the golf driving range with logan, mx and suet again today, then to westfield. which brought on another surge of tears. freak. tlp is freakingly useless. another reminder to surrender all, to give everything back. am thankfully, it worked *at that point in time*. it's tiring though. the memories keep popping up, sometimes at the most unexpected moments, and trying to squash and clamp them down doesn't work, they'll just jump out again at another time. each memory pricks even more because all i can seem to remember are the GOOD memories. the early days, the gentle side of him, the small tiny moments of happiness. shit you tlp. serves you right for ignoring all the signs, for still trying to pretend, trying to make excuses, for not wanting to wake up.

and on a happier note, it feels good to be missed by the girls back home! i'm so sorry, but there really is no way i can come back earlier! miss you all lots... and you'll probably be super sick of my noisy antics by the end of jan! so, enjoy your peace while it lasts! *evil grin*